Tips for Keeping Away from Gossip and Slander

By tradition, the most serious wrongdoing that regularly triggered the affliction of tsara’at was evil speech, typically gossip or slander. 

This was so for many reasons. For one, the nature of the wrongdoing and that of the affliction were very much the same. There’s a spreading nature to each and a sense, indeed a fear, of things getting terribly out of control very quickly.

Consider the classic story of lashon hara (evil speech), in which a young fellow who’d been slandering the town’s wise man went to the rabbi and asked him how he could merit forgiveness for what he had done. The rabbi told him to cut open a feather pillow, scatter the feathers to the wind, and then to come back to see him the next day.    

The young fellow did so, and then the next day the rabbi told him, “Now your task is to go gather up all the feathers.”

“But,” the young fellow said, “I won’t be able to find all those feathers. They’re surely spread to all parts by now.”

I think you know where this goes. It’s no more possible to collect the feathers of the pillow than it would be to know of, undo, and retrieve all the evil done others by the spread of gossip or slander against them.

It’s for this reason that lashon hara was deemed among the most severe sins. “If someone speaks lashon hara, he is considered equivalent to one who denies the Almighty and transgresses the entire Torah. God says concerning him, ‘I and he cannot coexist in the world.’”

Given the awfulness of this offense, what can we do to prevent committing it? Happily, the midrashim have some suggestions.

First, we should believe that “every word which leaves a person’s mouth is taped in Heaven” and that “one day,” before judgment “in the Heavenly Tribunal,” “all his words will be played back to him.”

Second, “a person should consider the special position which the Almighty has assigned the tongue.” Specifically, God put the tongue in a resting motion in the mouth, so “it should not be constantly in motion.”

Further, God “imprisoned” the tongue within “an inner wall of teeth and an outer barrier of flesh,” with the lips confining it. These barricades were intended to “restrain” the tongue from being much in motion, especially for speaking evil.

The principal purpose of the tongue was instead to “speak words of Bible, prayer, and benefit to our fellowmen.”

Third, “in order to brace oneself against words of slanderous speech, one must acquaint oneself with the major tragedies such speech caused throughout the generations.” 

These include the snake’s slander against God in the Garden, Joseph’s speech about his brothers, the spies’ report about the land of Israel, and the evil speech of the people against each other that led to the destruction of the Second Temple.

Fourth, one should pray daily to ask God for help in guarding one’s tongue from evil. God helps those who ask for help and then study and act upon Divine direction as to how speech should be conducted.

Fifth, there are two habits that, if adopted, will make us less likely to engage in lashon hara. They both come from active Bible study – one, to keep engaged in virtuous activity, and, two, to live by “antidotes” that possess “the power of purifying and cleansing one’s mind, thus making one less vulnerable to the temptation of sin.”

Sixth, it helps to humble oneself. Sometimes we enjoy maligning others because it gives us a feeling of superiority. If, on the other hand, we admit we’re far from perfect and have flaws and adopt a more benign attitude toward others, we might at least refrain from speaking evil of them.

What say you? Could these practices help you avoid gossip and slander?

As for me, I think they would.

So, let’s give it a try. We owe it to our troubled world, no?